GREY GHOST GEAR WOODLAND APPARITION BAG
In the realm of the grotesque and deranged, where yoga pants and flannel prevail, and Starbucks fuels the sinister, the Grey Ghost Gear Woodland Apparition Bag slithers its way through the battlefields of the world.
It doesn’t scream; it whispers, disguising itself among the mundane as a chic urban fashion trend, but deceptively concealing its contents like a piñata full of cigarettes, about to foil plans for the would-be nefarious. “SURRENDER YER BOOTY!”, says the evil street pirate as he reaches out to relinquish your purity…but alas, he’s cut short of his sodomizing pay-day plans by the deep roar of that retribution unleashed from within your Apparition SBR Bag.
The Grey Ghost Apparition Bag’s exterior is M81 Woodland Camouflage (Read: God’s Plaid if divine brevity is your thing). It sports water-bottle sized pockets, flanking each side, and straps near the top that cling to tripods and walking sticks like you cling to the mechanical horsey ride outside the gas station after you told that homeless beggar you were out of change. Its bottom cradles a stowable rain fly, shielding its contents from downpours, or for a quick change in appearance.
The coffin-shaped Grey Ghost Gear Woodland Apparition Bag has front pockets with pleats and a vertical zipper, beckoning you to store essentials like passports, iPads, or perhaps, that spending money you set aside to pay lot lizards for piggy-back rides in the Buccee’s parking lot. A larger pocket, lined with loop velcro, calls out for customization, welcoming hook-backed pouches or holsters, and even an additional rifle upper for those moments when change is needed. The Grey Ghost Gear logo grins wickedly, guarding a smaller zippered pocket for loose trinkets and mementos, and the gold teeth you’ve collected from other would-be savages.
The main compartment, a deep den of iniquity, houses pockets for 5.56mm rifle magazines, with bungee keepers that latch on like the Velcro owes them child support. The upper portion lurks another zippered pocket, fit for night vision goggles and other tools of retribution. The back panel flaunts adjustable keepers, eager to embrace your weapon of choice, while additional flat straps await, ready to secure your instruments of chaos.
A hidden extender lies in wait on the Grey Ghost Gear Woodland Apparition Bag, ready to accommodate a weapon with a longer barrel or a suppressor-equipped SBR. The removable waist belt and pack straps, padded and air-meshed, deceive the body with their embrace, as the straps adjust to a multitude of torso lengths. The waist belt pockets stand ready to devour spare mags, candy bars, a Glock 43 or Sig P365.
In this twisted world, the Grey Ghost Gear Woodland Apparition Bag gives you the ability to unleash more punishment on the bodies of your enemies than 35 years of partying like Keith Richards.